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Howcan 10minutes about womenover three generations, about how astonishingstrength thosebonds took hold four year oldgirl huddled heryoung sister, her mother hergrandmother fivedays smallboat ChinaSea more than 30 years ago, bonds tookhold smallgirl neverlet go smallgirl now living SanFrancisco youtoday? finishedstory. jigsawpuzzle still being put together. Let me tell you about some pieces.Imagine firstpiece: manburning his lifes work. He manwhose whole life had been balanced singlehope hiscountrys unity freedom.Imagine him communistsenter Saigon, confronting hislife had been completewaste. Words, solong his friends, now mocked him. He retreated silence.He died broken history.He mygrandfather. neverknew him reallife. ourlives muchmore than our memories. My grandfather never let me forget his life. My duty havebeen mylesson yes,history tried crushus, weendured. nextpiece earlydawn slipping silently out sea.My mother, Mai, 18when her father died arrangedmarriage, already twosmall girls. her,life had distilled itself onetask: herfamily newlife shewould succeed.So after four yearsaga defiesfiction, boatslipped out seadisguised fishingvessel. All adultsknew greatestfear pirates,rape death.Like most adults boat,my mother carried smallbottle wewere captured, first my sister mygrandmother would drink. My first memories steadybeat bowdipping eachwave, emptyhorizon. dontremember pirateswho came many times, werebluffed ourboat, enginedying sixhours. doremember oilrig off Malaysiancoast youngman who collapsed journeysend too much firstapple tasted,given applehas ever tasted same.After three months refugeecamp, we landed nextpiece aboutfour women across three generations shaping newlife together. We settled FootsCray, working classsuburb whose demographic immigrants.Unlike settledmiddle class suburbs, whose existence FootsCray. smellsfrom shop doors were from haltingEnglish were exchanged between people who had one thing werestarting again. My mother worked carassembly line, working six days, double shifts. Somehow she found time studyEnglish qualifications.We were poor. All dollarswere allocated extratuition whatmissed out, which usuallynew clothes; werealways secondhand. Two pairs school,each hideholes schooluniform down ankles,because sixyears. wererare searingchants occasionalgraffiti: "Asian, go home." Go home where?Something stiffened inside me. quietvoice saying, bypassyou." My mother, my sister samebed. My mother exhaustedeach night, wetold one another about our day mygrandmother around house.My mother suffered from nightmares all about myjob stayawake until her nightmares came so couldwake her. She opened computerstore openedanother business. womencame storiesabout men who could transition,angry troubledchildren caught between two worlds. Grants sponsorswere sought. Centers were established. parallelworlds. classicAsian student, relentless wereprecarious, tragically scarred violence,drug abuse somany over yearswere helped. work,when finalyear law student, youngAustralian catapultedfrom one piece edgesdidnt fit. Tan Le, anonymous Foots Cray resident, nowTan Le, refugee socialactivist, invited venuesshe had never heard homeswhose existence she could never have imagined. didntknow didntknow how didntknow how talkabout wine. didntknow how talkabout anything. unsungsuburb twodaughters ending each day almost20 years, telling one another fallingasleep, usstill samebed. toldmy mother couldntdo Shereminded me sameage she had been, when we boarded hadnever been option."Just do shesaid, whatyoure spokeout youthunemployment morecandidly metpeople from all walks life,so many themdoing loved,living eventhough finishedmy degree, anotherpiece sametime recentarrival, new justokay, giftfrom boat.Because being insidercan so easily mean collapsing horizons,can so easily mean accepting yourprovince. havestepped outside my comfort zone enough now worlddoes fall apart, youfear. Possibilities havebeen allowed were outrageously encouraged. implacableoptimism, strangemixture daring.So followedmy hunches. gatheredaround me smallteam irresistiblechallenge. yearwe were penniless. eachday, hugepot soupwhich we all shared. We worked well eachnight. Most ourideas were crazy. fewwere brilliant, webroke through. U.S.after only one trip. My hunches again. Three months later hadrelocated, adventurehas continued. Before closethough, let me tell you about my grandmother. She grew up timewhen Confucianism socialnorm localMandarin personwho mattered. Life hadnt changed centuries.Her father died soon after she born.Her mother raised her alone. 17she became secondwife Mandarinwhose mother beat her. supportfrom her husband, she caused takinghim prosecutingher own case, fargreater sensation when she won. Laughter Applause hotelroom momentshe died 600 miles away lookedthrough showerscreen sawher standing otherside. knewshe had come saygoodbye. My mother phoned minutes later. fewdays later, we went Buddhisttemple FootsCray sataround her casket. We told her stories assuredher wewere still monkcame toldus he had casket.My mother asked us feelher hand. She asked monk,"Why herhand sowarm socold?" "Because you have been holding morning,"he said. "You have ourfamily, runsthrough women.Give who we were howlife had shaped us, we can now see menwho might have come ourlives would have thwarted us. Defeat would have come too easily. Now wouldlike havemy own children, wonderabout boat.Who could ever wish own?Yet amafraid entitlement.Can givethem lives,dipping bravely eachwave, steadybeat vasthorizon guaranteesnothing? dontknow. couldgive stillsee them safely through, would.Applause
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