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Fathers Things When Tom Howard was seventeen years old he was as tall as his father, so he began to borrow Mr. Howards clothes when he wanted to go out with his friends in the evening. Mr. Howard did not like this, and he always got very angry when he found his son wearing any of his things. One evening when Tom came downstairs to go out, his father stopped him in the hall. He looked at Toms clothes very carefully. Then he said angrily, "Isnt that one of my ties, Tom?" "Yes, Father, it is," answered Tom. "And that shirts mine too." "Yes, thats yours too," answered Tom. "And youre wearing my belt!" said Mr. Howard. "Yes, I am, Father," answered Tom. "You dont want your trousers to fall down, do you?" 父亲的东西 汤姆.霍德华十七岁的时候,长得和父亲一样高了,于是当他晚上和朋友一起出去时,就开始借父亲的衣服穿. 霍德华先生可不喜欢这样,当他发现他的儿子穿他的衣服时,总是非常生气. 一天晚上,汤姆下楼准备出去,父亲在门厅里拦住了他.他细细打量着汤姆的穿着. 然后他气呼呼地说：“汤姆,那不是我的一条领带吗?” 汤姆回答说：“是的,父亲,是你的领带.” “还有那衬衫也是我的.” “是的,衬衫也是你的.”汤姆回答说. “还有呢,你连皮带也用我的.”霍德华先生说. “是的,父亲,”汤姆回答说,“你不愿意让你的裤子掉下来吧?” Mr. Robinson had to travel somewhere on business, and as he was in a hurry, he decided to go by air. He liked sitting beside a window when he was flying, so when he got on to the plane, he looked for a window seat. He found all of them had already had been taken except for one. There was a soldier sitting in the seat beside this one, and Mr. Robinson was surprised that he had not taken the one by the window; but, anyhow, he at once went towards it. When he reached it, however, he saw that there was a notice on it. It was written in ink and said, "This seat is preserved for proper load balance, thank you." Mr Robinson had never seen such an unusual notice in a plane before, but he thought that the plane must be carrying something particularly heavy in it, so he walked on and found another empty seat, not beside a window, to sit in. Two or three people tried to sit in the window seat beside the soldier, but they too read the notice and went on, when the plane was nearly full, a very beautiful girl hurried into the plane. The soldier, who was watching the passengers coming in, quickly took the notice off the seat beside himself and in this way succeededin having the company of the girl during the whole trip. 英语幽默：士兵坐飞机有美女陪伴的高招 由于生意方面的事,罗宾逊先生得出趟门.因为有点紧急,他决定坐飞机.乘机旅行时,他喜欢靠窗坐,故而一登机,他就寻找一个靠窗的座位.他发现只有一个靠窗的座位还空着.在那空座位边坐着一名士兵.令罗宾逊先生纳闷的是,这位士兵没有坐靠窗的位置.罗宾逊先生不管那些,他马上径直朝那个空座位走去. 然而,等到了那儿,他看见座位上有则启事,是用钢笔写的：“为保持装载平衡,特预设该位置,谢谢合作.”罗宾逊先生还从来没有在飞机上见过如此不同寻常的启事.不过,他想飞机上一定装了什么特别重的物品,于是他找了个不靠窗的位置. 又有两三个乘客试图坐在那个士兵旁的靠窗座位上,他们看到那则启事就走开了.当快满座时,一位非常美丽的姑娘匆匆走进机舱.一直在注意进舱旅客的那个士兵赶紧拿掉他旁边空座位上的启事.士兵用这种办法,成功地找到了一位姑娘一路作伴. I work for 7up"! 我可是在七喜公司工作呀 Four best friends met at the hospital since their wives were giving births to their babies. The nurse comes up to the first man and says, "Congratulations, you got twins." The man said "How strange, Im the manager of Minnesota Twins." After awhile the nurse comes up to the second man and says, "Congratulations, you got triplets." Man was like "Hmmm, strange I worked as a director for the "3 musketeers." Finally, the nurse comes up to the third man and says "Congratulations, you got twins x2." Man is happy and says, "Ironic, I work for the hotel "4 Seasons." All three of them are happy until they see their last buddy jumping all over the place, cursing God and banging his head on the wall. They asked him whats wrong and he answered, "Whats wrong? I work for 7up"! 四个好朋友在医院里碰面了,他们的妻子正在生产.护士过来对第一个男人说:"恭喜,你得了双胞胎."男人说:"多奇怪呀,我是明尼苏达双子队的经理."过了一会儿,护士过来对第二个男人说:"恭喜,你得了三胞胎."男人很喜欢:"嗯,又巧了.我是3M公司的董事."最后,护士跑来对第三个男人说:"恭喜,你得了2对双胞胎."男人很开心地说:"真令人啼笑皆非,我为四季宾馆工作."他们三个都很高兴,但第四个伙伴急得像热锅上的蚂蚁,咒骂上帝并用头撞墙.他们问他有什么不对劲,他回答道:"什么不对劲?我可是在七喜公司工作呀!" Five Hundred Times 五百遍 In the traffic court of a large mid western city, a young lady was brought before the judge to answer a ticket given her for driving through a red light. She explained to his honor that she was a school teacher and requested an immediate disposal of her case in order that she might hasten on to her classes. A wild gleam came into the judges eye. "You are a school teacher, eh?" said he. "Madam, I shall realize my lifelong ambition. Sit down at that table and write I went through a red light five hundred times." 在中西部一个大城市的交通法庭里,一位年轻女士被带到法官面前,她由于开车闯红灯被开了罚单.女士向法官解释,她是一名学校老师,请求法官马上处理她的案子,以便可以赶回去上课.法官眼中闪过一丝狡黠,说道：“你是学校的老师,对吗?女士,我马上要实现我毕生的愿望了.在那张桌子旁坐下,写‘我开车闯了红灯’500遍.”（这个不错吧,哈哈,刚开始还没完全懂呢）
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