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The Fairest of the Fair Aphrodite Athena Hera Paris Athena: I am so bored. There is nothing to do up here in Mount Olympus. Hera: Athena My dear, you just have to learn to keep busy. Athena: You call polishing thunderbolts keeping busy? No thanks. Hera: Well, I am perfectly happy doing this and occasionally helping out humans. Why did you know that just the other day I was talking to this nice man named Orpheus whose wife just died Athena: Oh, how sad. Hera: Yes it was but thanks to my help, he is on his way to the underworld to retrieve his wife as we speak. Athena: How did you manage that? Hera: Being the queen of the gods pays off. All I had to do is pull some divine strings and snap Shazam! back from the dead. Athena: You owe Hades big time don抰 ya. Hera: Oh yeah. Athena :Well hopefully Aphrodite will bring something exciting in the mail. Hera: Look here she comes. Aphrodite: Ladies, afternoon mail is here. Let抯 see. Athena another bill from your helmet polisher and Hera here is all of Zeus抯 mail. I know you like to sift through it before giving it to him. Hera: It抯 our little secret right. Aphrodite: Right. Oh and before I forget. . . Athena: No! I refuse to sit here and listen to you read your thousands of love letters. Aph. I wasn抰 going to do that. No, this is special. Ladies look at this. . . She pulls out a golden apple. Athena: A golden apple, Oh those are so rare. Hardly anyone comes across those. Hera: Not very many people or gods know where they grow. Athena: I do! in a teacher voice The golden apples grow at the western tip of the word. They are guarded by Atlas抯 three daughters AKA the Nymphs of the West. Many have said that these three creatures 回复 收起回复 2楼2007 11 30 17:26举报 我也说一句 hyperboreus 半神6Aph.: cuts off Athena with attitude 朣o not in the mood for a history lesson. Athena gives her a dirty look Anyway, look at the inscription reads 揊or the fairest of the fair." Athena: The fairest of the fair? Aph.: That抯 what the label says. Hera : Well, Aphrodite that obviously means that it was meant for you. Athena: Probably. Aph. exaggerated modesty Stop joking. Surely you don抰 suggest I ?why it抯 too silly for words. Athena: Save it. Hera: Really, Aphrodite how could anyone possibly think that it was meant for me. I mean I抦 older than you. Aph.: Just because your years older. Doesn抰 mean Hera: I said older, not years older. You make me sound ancient. Athena: But Hera if you refuse the apple then surely you don抰 think that I?? Aph. Oh, yes. The apple must be yours Athena. No one else in Olympus has a figure like yours Athena: Yeah but look at Hera抯 velvety skin. Hera: What about Aphrodite抯 hair? Aph.: Honestly Hera consider Athena抯 eyes. Athena: To Aphrodite And your perfect nose. To Hera And your lovely mouth. Aph.: Athena抯 right about your mouth Hera. Athena: And there is Aphrodite抯 posture Hera: And Athena抯 lovely ear lobes Aphrodite raises her hand in silence and gasps. Aph. It is obvious that none of us can decide whom this apple belongs to. Honestly who was the halfwit who thought three women could decide who was the most beautiful among them. Hera Sighs I suggest that you just throw the silly thing down the hill. Athena: Or return to sender, Addressee Unknown. Aph. You both are right That抯 what I抣l do. Both Athena and Hera: But Aphrodite! Aph. Yes. Athena: Well it抯 just that someone must have taken a lot of time to carve that inscription into the apple. It is solid gold. Hera: Yeah and don抰 you think that returning it would be rude after all the work put into it? I抣l tell you what, to make it easy on us all, I will just take it. Athena: Hera I couldn抰 allow you to have to burden yourself so I guess I will have to . . Aphrodite: I couldn抰 possibly let you both to make that kind of sacrifice. I抦 the one who picked the silly thing up so I will just have to force myself to keep it. Athena: Sighs I think we抮e right back where we stared. Hera: That抯 it! Athena and Aph.: That抯 what? Hera: recites The one above must go below to find the one in three. Aph. What Athena: She抯 quoting the Oracle of Delphi again. Hera: What we need is a man. A human man to decide. Athena: What a great idea Hera!回复 收起回复 3楼2007 11 30 17:26举报 我也说一句 hyperboreus 半神6Hera: Let the first man to walk beneath this spot be the one. I Hera command it. Athena: Oh this is so exciting! I wonder who it will be. Aph. I hope he抯 handsome. Athena: I hope he抯 intelligent. Hera: I hope he appreciates older women. Athena: Behold he comes! Aph.: Good 憁orrow stranger! Paris Oh! Hi there. I seem to be lost do you know what this place is? Hera: What is your name earth person. Paris: My name I抦 Paris, Paris of Troy. Pleased to meet you I lost my sense of direction. This isn抰 the way to Troy is it? Aph.: Paris, we seem to be having some trouble making a decision and we were wondering if you could help us. Paris: I抦 always willing to help a pretty lady. Athena Hera: Eh hem? Paris: Excuse me, pretty ladies. Flirtatious Athena: Do you see this apple? Paris: Mmmmm Thanks! I haven抰 had lunch yet and I love apples. Aph. No, no, no. This isn抰 an eating apple. It憇 solid gold. Paris: Cool! I can get into the Olympics for the rest of my life with the money from this Hera: No, no, no the apple is not for you. Athena: What we want you to do is give this apple to whichever one you think is the fairest of the fair. Paris: The fairest of the fair? But you抮e all good looking. Hera: Yes but one of us has to be just a teeny weeny bit prettier Aph.: Paris can I have a private word with you. Takes him aside Hera: Oh no she didn抰! Athena: Oh yes she did. Hera and Athena evesdrop Aph.: Obviously, this whole thing is just some sort of a game to us. I mean none of us really takes it seriously. So here抯 what I抣l do to make your decision a lot easier. If you give me that apple I will get you a date with the most beautiful woman in the world Helen, queen of Sparta. Paris: Would you really? Do you have her phone number and everything? Aph.: Trust me Paris, I have connections. Hera: Paris can I have a word with you. In private. Glares at Aph. Who moves over with Athena Paris: Of course. Hera: Now Paris if you give that apple to me I will make you rich. Paris: Richer than Midas? Athena: Paris! Pushes Aph away towards Hera Paris: You want to make things easy for me too I bet. Athena sad attempt to flirt Give the apple to me and I will make you a great warrior Paris: Would I be able to beat up Achilles. He is always showing off his muscles. Athena: When you get through with him he will look like Greek ruin. Aphrodite: Paris we抮e waiting for your answer. Athena: Paris ?remember Athena Hera: Paris remember Hera Aph.: Paris remember Helen Queen Helen of Sparta 555 HOTT Paris: The golden apple is yours Aphrodite! Aph.: Thanks Paris! She exits Paris: I hope you to ladies aren抰 to disappointed no hard feelings right? Athena: No. No hard feelings at all. Hera: Why should we care if you picked Aphrodite. Fair is fair Athena: As a matter of facts I think that we ought to give Paris a present too Hera. Just to show that we have no hard feelings Hera: Good idea, Paris we are going to give you a wonderful present. Paris: you are what抯 it going to be? Athena: looks knowingly at Hera A Trojan Horse.
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