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Story 1 Ah Lian ask shopkeeper:Eh Ah chek,u got sell stocking up to knee,boh?Ah Chek replied :Lu siao ah!stocking wear up to yeo waist only,where got up to the neebreast one.Story 2 Ah Beng bought a Honda VTI recently and drove to Ah Lians place to show it to her.Ah Beng was bragging the various functions of his new car to his girlfriend."This is ah,so fast even the Mata Chia cannot catch ah!" "Ha!Really ah!Steady lah!" said Ah Lian."Some more hor,this is Automatic one,vely easy to drive!" So Ah Lian said,"Let me try!I wan,I wan!" So Ah Lian took the drivers seat and shifted the gear and floored the accelerator.The next moment,the car sped backwards and crashed into the lamp post."Alamak!What u doing?U Siao Char Bo!U see lah!Wah Piang eh!" screamed Ah Beng."Solee,solee,pai sah lah!No lah,I tot hor,"R" for racing mah!"* Story 3 The Titanic was sinking,and there werent enough lifeboats.So the captain had to persuade male passengers to jump into the icy waters to make room for women and children.To the British he said."You must act like gentlemen." They jumped.To the Americans he said,"You can be heroes." They complied.To the Germans he said,"Its the rule." They obeyed.To the Japanese he said," Its the consensus." They obliged.Then came the Singaporean and they just werent budging until he came up with the appeal:"Free life jackets for those who jumped." Story 4 3 recruits Chinese,Malay Indian are at the army supply base to collect underwear.The sergeant was there to aid the supplies.Sergeant:Hei Ah Beng!How many underwear you need ah?Ah Beng:thinks a while 7 sasensergeant!Sergeant:puzzled How come so many?Ah Beng:Mon,Tues,Wed,Thurs,Fri,Sat Sun.One day one.Sergeant:to Malay recruit Eh Mat!How many underwear?Mat:without hesitation 6 sargen!Sergeant:curious How come six?Mat:Mon,Tues,Wed,Thurs,Sat Sun.Friday I wear sarong only.Sergeant:Indian recruit Dei Tambi.How many underwears dah dei?Tambi:very confidently 12 Sarjen !Sergeant:shocked nearly fell to the ground Why you need so many for?Tambi:January,February,March.One month one.Story 5 One day a group of Ah Bengs stepped into a night club and wanted the DJ to play the song "Ah Cheng Buey Ro Ti" In Hokkien means Ah Cheng buys bread.The DJ told them that they only have and play English songs and told them to re select another song.The Ah Bengs were very angry and kicked up a big fuss,claiming the DJ was insulting them.The manager had to intervene in order to calm them down.Finally,after a long talk with the Ah Bengs,the manager found out that the Ah Bengs was actually asking for the song:"Unchained Melody" by the Righteous Brothers.Story 6 One day,two Ah Lians got into a lift from the 20th storey and want to get down to the ground floor.As they looked at the dial,they could see the number 20 down to number 2.It was then followed by a G.As they were not English educated,they were puzzled and had no idea what does the letter G mean.Suddenly one of them exclaimed excitedly and press G.When they finally reached the ground floor,the other Ah Lian was so impressed and asked the first Ah Lian:"Wah low!,how you know one?" The first Ah Lian reply smugly,"Easy lah..G for Gero mah..." Story 7 Santa Singh remember him? just graduated from Law school and decided to apply for a job in the most prestigious "Lee Lee Law Firm" During the interview,Mr.Lee KY looked at Santa Singhs resume,thinks for a while and said,"Well,I would need to discuss your application with my wife.." And went off to discuss Santas application with his wife.Lee KYs wife said,"Cmon,dont you know that we only hire lawyers with surnames beginning with Lee only?Of course,we cant hire Santa Singh!" So Lee KY told the bad news to Santa Singh about his rejection.Few days later,Santa Singh came back to the same company and request for another interview.Lee KY said,Look Santa,I have already told you that we only hire. Santa Singh interrupted him and said,I know,I know.I have just changed my name.Lee K Y looked at Santa Singh in surprise and asked,"What is your new name then?" On this,Santa Singh replied,Surname Lee,Last name,Manga! Manga Li
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